“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”-psalm 94:19
Sweaty hands, a trembling voice, dry throat, and a queazy feeling in my stomach. These are all things I have come to know like no other. Whether I was reciting a speech in front of a group of people, or reminiscing on something I said or a choice I had made, the anxiety would find a way to creep up on me and control my life. I struggled with this throughout high school, and in a way my anxiety held me back from doing things I may have otherwise enjoyed.
“you’ll look silly doing that”
“what will people think”
“don’t do it”
These thoughts rolled around in my head, day after day, year after year, finding a common ground within me. I tried many things to “cope” with it, but the only thing that really worked was worship. Singing the songs filled me with happiness and Jesus, and pushed me to my biggest decision, joining the worship team at my church.
I had to put my full trust into Jesus, which can be nerve-racking at first, but lead me to do wonderful things. Putting my trust in Him inclined me to going on a mission trip with 12 people I barely knew, which would have been difficult for me to do before. I also joined worship team, and now have the amazing chance to worship and praise Him with so many phenomenal people by my side, living for Jesus.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” -1 peter 5:7
Even though I still struggle with anxiety here and there, it is not as terrible as it was, and never will be that bad again. No longer having to worry about what people think, because that is insignificant, has made me happier, confident, and my faith is now stronger than it has ever been. God is first, I am second.